I'd like to be under the sea, in a dildo garden in the shade. That's what only the fishes knew 'till Frankie, one day on a vacation, came across the dildo reef. Previously only fish knew of the secret that kept mermaids happy for eons.

I've been very busy. You know that video camera you got me for Christmas? It's really coming in handy. I can't wait for you to see my home movies. Remember how I used to tell you how I wanted my very own midget and watermelon patch? And remember how uncle Shelby used to dress up like a woman?